My SIX year old son, cherub 2, exclaimed that he didn't want to wear his sweatshirt because it made him look FAT. After I picked my chin up.off.the.floor, I asked him what would make him think that. He told me his "friend" told him he looked fat.
There are MANY reasons that I was unprepared for this conversation:
1)I was having it with my son. Typically girls struggle with this issue. I didn't even KNOW that boys could.
2)He is such a strong willed little guy that I couldn't believe in the blink of an eye someone made him feel so bad about himself.
3)I always knew he was sensitive but I didn't realize how deep it went.
4)He is so YOUNG. This was like a 12-16 year old issue. Or not.
5)Per usual, we were on a 'deadline'. We had exactly 2 minutes to leave the house or the schedule would be thrown and they would be late for school. Time for trama.intervention.mommy.101. Right?
What I said/did:
Buddy, there is nothing FAT about you. You look handsome. Then, I made him throw on the sweatshirt because we NEEDED to leave for school so we weren't late. He did, to make me happy.
What I WISH I SAID/DID:
Why do you think he said that? How did it make you feel? Do you think he was being a nice person, a good friend when he said that? Then he would have probably talked to me. Told me his feelings. Maybe he would have realized that his little "friend" wasn't being nice and his comment had nothing to do with cherub 2, more to do with himself. Maybe he would have worn that sweatshirt with PRIDE that day instead of hiding it in his backpack as soon as I turned my back.
Next time, I will be prepared. Next time, I will be late. It will be worth the conversation. I learned alot about myself, my son and parenting that day.