Less is More

Cherub 2 asked hubby & I a question as we walked off the beach today. "Do people get married first and then have babies?" In unison we answered, "Yes." Off he skipped completely satisfied that the world made complete sense.

We wiped our brows thankful that question didn't get deeper and that "yes" was exactly what he was looking for because he didn't know anything about the real world yet.

Ironic that I was JUST reading about the person that:

Person born woman, changed to man, married woman, wife couldn't get pregnant, man reverse treatment, man had baby.

Not as easy an answer as "yes". Less is more.

Make A (Belated) Wish

Happy Birthday BIL! I am sorry that I just REALIZED THE DATE NOW! We have no calendar on vacation. It wasn't until I posted to the blog that I saw the dates. I am officially 25 minutes late for your bday (and hours in reality b/c we should have called)!

We hope you had a wonderful day!! May all your bday wishes come true!

Down Cape- Post One

Family on vacation together! Loving every minute. Favorite doin's so far:

Canoe ride through the marshes- Hubby and I took the cherubs for a peaceful canoe ride. Taught the cherubs some words to "Rock the boat, don't rock the boat baby! Rock the boat, don't tip the boat ova!" Lot's of giggles. Minus one splinter-the perfect morning.

Adult activities of night one- Baby Sis, Hubby, Life long friend W and myself played cards and had a few cocktails. The night started off with W telling the story of how his grill knobs MELTED off while he was cooking dinner that night. As you can imagine we all got lots of mileage from his knobs. How are your knobs??

Secret Trail- It never ceases to marvel me how much fun life is with hubby. We took the cherubs for a bike ride after dinner. After exploring our little neighborhood we thought we might be heading home when hubby finds a 'secret bike trail'. I NEVER would have tried it. EVER. I know that is sad, but that is me. I would have NOT KNOWN WHAT WAS ON THE OTHER SIDE. He hops right on and we all follow. It comes out into this fabulous HUGE neighborhood where we play cops and traffic around the rotary (aka-dead end circle), splash through puddles, and sang our way around for an hour. It's not the what that was on the other side-it was the adventure of it.

All Dolled Up- Cherub 1 came out ready for our dinner out the other night, all dawled up in MAKEUP! I thought hubby was going to have a fit (member, she is 8). It was all her play makeup-except the RED lipstick. Off we went to the restaurant with our little harlot!

Cheating- Cherub 2 cheats in every game just like hubby and MIL. This fact is simply hilarious because neither one of them actually taught him how to cheat but he just knows how. This is doubly ironic because he is the kid that looks JUST LIKE BOTH OF THEM. He looks like them, walks like them, is 'right' like them etc. He was moving his ships around while playing Battleship with cherub 1. She was having a fit because she couldn't sink any ships! No wonder, they were moving!

Dead & Love- Cherub 3 has two new obsessions: death and love. He constantly asks, "Mom, if you are 100 will you be dead?" "If you are 120 will you be dead?" "Mom, look at this dead horseshoe crab?" "Mom, look. I chopped the dead horseshoe crab up (kind of Jeffrey Darmer like)." On a lighter note he "loves everyone and this house". He has told me twice since we came here that he is moving here. He daily chants to me (just like FIL) "It is a beautiful Cape Cod day!" He loves you, and you, and you, and you, and you (etc).

Daddyness- All cherubs and myself are basking in the daddyness of vacation. "No work for daddy this week."

F.A.T.S. Locator

I am the new hot item to buy for your hubby/kids for Christmas this year. My title, F.A.T.S. Locator.

Here are the daily questions I hear ALL day long:

Hubby: "What did you do with (insert basically ANY object)": My book? The bandaids? My keys? My wallet? My beer?

Cherubs: "Where are my (insert basically ANYTHING)": My Crocs? My blankie? My random missing broken piece to the pirate ship? My High School Musical bookmark?

F.A.T.S. Locator= One who FINDS ALL THE S***

R.I.P.

My my laptop rest in peace. MB sad, sob. Hubby to rebuild.

What's the shelf life?

It seems like almost everything has a shelf life: food, people, jobs, haircuts, animals, patience. Cats are lucky, they have 9 lives but I am thinking that my laptop forgot to get it's extra life line when it was being born.

Lately, it seems to have aged. Never mind that cherub 2 stole two of the keys a couple of years ago. What? Typing without a J and a cntrl key is easy. That's jjjjust (hard to type just one j) cosmetics. We are talking real issues.

Hubby did something a couple of weeks ago (a.k.a.- messed with it) and boom. Virus. Then- slow performance. When I say slow, I mean slow like dial-up slow. Hubby seemingly fixed everything, until, email wackiness. Emails are lost, not received, not sent and now my inbox looks like a file cabinet that has been dropped on it's head.

Sadly, my little life line has hit it's end of it's shelf life. Boo Hoo.

Whose the Best Stripper?

Cherubs 2 & 3 wouldn't leave Cherub 1 alone to play with her friend in peace so I took out two wallpaper scrapers and told them they could scrape the old wallpaper off the hallway. They were thrilled to do something Daddy always does and cherub 1 and friend couldn't stay away.

This is the conversation I hear:

Cherub 3: "Who is the best stripper?"
Cherub 3: "I think you are the best. Then you, then you, then me."
Cherub 1: "Yay, I agree."
Friend: "Yay."
Cherub 3: "Well, we are all good strippers."

So now, I have four little strippers. I hope friend doesn't go home and say they were all stripping today. That could definitely be misconstrued for the truth. I guess I should interrupt and clarify, "Who is the best SCRAPER?".

Mom Swap

Cherub 2 is writing the script for a new tv show, Mom Swap.

"I wish I had a new mom!" is what cherub 2 yelled as he stomped into the house today. Sigh.

I AM the meanest mom in the world . Why? I asked him not to ride his brand new bike in the rain (trying to avoid him slipping on wet pavement or rusting out his bike on the first day of ownership). So, I asked him to park the bike in the garage. Mean mother, I know.

So, I trade his momentary desire to trade me in for a nicer model for an injury free day. Maybe the networks will pick up his new show.

Breaking into the Boys Club

I am starting to think that getting a job in the teaching field is similar to breaking into the boys club at the golf course. Not b/c we are literally going against boys, it's just that as a new teacher it feels that the stack is against you.

I have had four different interviews so far. Each one completely different, yet all the same. I am complimented on my poise, my interview skills, energy, ideas- you name it- but they are going with 'the more experienced' person.

I spout out all the right things to my friends in this position 'it will happen', 'a school would be lucky to have you', 'fate will bring you to where you should be'...I guess I need to spout them out at myself b/c this morning...not feeling so confident.

I am generally a half glass full person and HUGE believer in fate, so fate it is. Enough about me. Time to go have a ball with the kids today!

Stay tuned...

Did anyone miss me? I have had weird computer issues...checking email was painful (similar to dial-up speed)..never mind trying to blog. I will be back tonight to give some quick updates. Stay tuned...

The Magic Card

I was scheduled for Jury Duty on this sunny July day. I called and they don't need me! I feel like I just got this card while playing Monopoly! Enjoy the day!!

The Perfect Summer Day

Ahhhh. It is finally summer. Although summer started about a month ago, it is officially summer today because we packed up and went to the beach.

Traveling with K & Kids, the day was perfect! Lots of sand, waves, giggles, and just enough sun to relax us all!

Things we learned today:
1) Sunscreen is required even on a mom's back.
2) Greenheads are groas-and they sting. Always carry benedryl!
3) Kids can giggle and dig holes on the beach for hours.
4) Adults need to be careful not to fall into these DEEP holes.
5) Watching lifeguards save someone is 'kindof creepy' per cherub 1.
6) 'Ah, ah!' while jumping the waves really means 'It's cold but I love it anyway!'
7) The younger ones always want to sit next to the older ones.
8) Icecream melts fast.
9) Buttpaste & powder is priceless for the boybathingsuit rash.
10)If your chair is missing a screw, it is bound to collapse.
11)Something about that sea air- it tires the cherubs out!
12)There is nothing like the beach.
13)There is nothing like summer.
14)There is nothing like friends.

Do you fit the mold?

As I purchased some new homes (spelled out-bras) for the sistas online tonight, I thought back to a recent conversation I had with cherub 1. She wanted to know why sometimes she fit in a size 6x, sometimes an 8 and sometimes a 10?? Honestly, I couldn't tell ya kid is what I wanted to say. I tried to explain how different companies made clothes differently but I then couldn't explain why it didn't work that way for the boys. They are cosistently the same size.

So, when housing the sistas what works in one manufacturer, like Olga, doesn't work in another, possibly maidenform. You can only shop for them on the internet if you know the brand, size and model number.

How many sizes can one girl be? Shouldn't there be rules for the clothes companies?? Maybe a mold or model of sorts to work around?? That way an 8 is an 8 is an 8??

Snippets

Snippet One:

We took the cherubs (real) golfing last night. This was actually really fun- for the the first three holes. One by one, they started getting tired until we had two lying down on the course and two almost losing it. Hubby promises to take me without the cherubs sometime.

Snippet Two:

Got in the car after golf and cherub 3 says (in the proper context), "Damn It! It's buggy out here!" I look over at hubby. I wonder where he learned that precious saying.

Snippet Three:

Lesson learned. I have two boys, ages 6 and 5. We had ONE boy over to play today. Three is NOT a good number. Friend got along either with cherub 2 OR 3, not both. Next time, two friends or no friends.

Snippet Four:

Who Loses? Cherub 1 had bball practice at 5:30pm and a bball game from 6-7pm. She loves bball! Cherub's 2 & 3 have fun by bouncing back and forth between the playground, bball court and (ReallyGroasNeedaBatAafter) sand. We alternate, play, watch game, play, watch game. Cherub 1 scored THREE baskets tonight! I missed ALL OF THEM! I was with the boys. She was mad and WOULDN'T LET IT GO that I missed it. I already felt bad. I thought to myself after, who really loses out? The boys b/c they get dragged everywhere? Cherub 1 b/c I don't get to watch everything? Or me...b/c I do not know motherhood without guilt?

The Grace To See A Joke

RLF, M sent me an email that I can not stop laughing about! No matter what religion you are...or not...it has to give you a chuckle.

Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Frances, & Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick's Cathedral inNew York Cityand were sightseeing on a Tuesday in July. It was hot and humid in town and their traditional garb was making them so uncomfortable, they decided to stop in at Patty McGuire's Pub for a cold soft drink.

Patty had recently added special legs to his barstools, which were the talk of the fashionable east side neighborhood. All 5 Nuns sat up at the bar and were enjoying their Cokes when Monsignor Riley and Father McGinty entered the bar through the front door

They, too, came for a cold drink when they were shocked and almost fainted at what they saw.


GIVE US A SENSE OF HUMOR LORD,

GIVE US THE GRACE TO SEE A JOKE,
TO GET SOME HUMOR OUT OF LIFE,

AND PASS IT ON TO OTHER FOLK

Baby Sis Rocks On!

So, everyone knows of my shoe thing (dah, I am so private, I blog all my personal stuff)! ANYWAY...Baby Sis came home today before work so I was able to get the 'still too big slingbacks that the pants were tailored to' in time for the interview. SO...I still had to try really hard not to fall out of my shoes but at least it wasn't as bad as it could be. Thanks Baby Sis!

Stuffed Up

I figured that I would start your day off with a little chuckle. I have an interview this morning for a 2nd grade position in a town near mine. I have my (borrowed from little sis) Ann Taylor suit ready to go, extra copies of resumes and reference sheets printed, thoughts all put together in my head when it hit me...

little sis has THE shoes, in her trunk, on her weekend away.

You are thinking, big deal, they were black heals. Put on one of the other 10 pair you have. Ehhhh. I was borrowing her 'suit length was taylored to fit the height' high heeled sling backs. (Spelled out...the pants drag on floor in other shoes that are too short.)

Here is the funny part.

Her shoes are already too big for me. The 'perfect' heels were slingbacks with an adjustable back, so I could manage them. So, I dug in her closet, got out the closest matching pair that I could find and STUFFED them paper towels to KEEP THEM ON. The good news my mom says is I certainly won't be thinking about the interview and how nervous I am.

I will be thinking about not falling out of my stuffed shoes.

On Your Mark, Get Set

Go! Our own amazing race. The cherubs were amazing during our annual 4th of July Road Race this year! Next year I am going to have to train to keep up with the cherubs!

Don't Break the Seal

Most of us know this saying from our 20's (and some of us a little earlier). After a couple of cocktails, you have to wait to break the seal (go potty) otherwise you'll spend half the night in the potty. I am not sure how this works but I know that the longer you wait the first time, the less you spend your night in the potty at the bar.

ANYWAY...here is a new spin on breaking the seal. Member my recent post about McDonalds and how I needed YOUR HELP? Well, I broke the seal. I went. I know, your disappointed, nervous, wondering-will she revert back to the Coke drinking slug she was?

I am actually glad I overcame my fear. Went. Drank. Over it. I enjoyed my BEST EVER Coke and I am ok. I realized that my love for the Coke never went away but my desire to lose my weight is FINALLY greater! I still have a "weighs" to go but at least I know I can have one coke and not lose my mind!

New Motto

Bored people have to fold the laundry. That is my new motto.

Cherub 1 has her much awaited BFF playdate right now. "We're bored" is what I hear while trapped indoors during the thunder storm. Ummm, bored people have to fold laundry.

Funny. No one is bored anymore. They scattered like rats to find something to do.

Stating the Obvious

Obviously the chairs are above because that is where I want to be right now. On my chair. Drinking beach juice. Feet in sand and water.

Obviously, that would be way better than where I am now. Sitting in the middle of my crowded bed, overtaken by a mob of angry clean clothes waiting to be folded). All the while, wishing hubby were here to babble with while we fold.

Sigh.