What has changed?

It's only been 100 years since the last post. I know... you have been holding your breath. LOL! So, there is a pandemic. Were you aware? You'd think we would be immune to trauma since we survived Trump during his four years of "Presidency", but here you have it. We are all still experiencing a different trauma. That's right. In my little own family we have (knocked on wood) skirted the Corona virus SO FAR, however, we have: brought our study abroad child home early, assured our last year's HS senior that it OK that he missed all senior events (including graduation), and somehow got our current senior motivated enought to survive school online enough to get into college. As for teaching, well it is just hard to describe. Kids in person while online at the same time. That is a WHOLE other post. My brain is fried and so is my ability to cope normally. Having said that, I love my family, love my friends, and will stop at nothing to help my students. So, what has changed? Sanity.

Never before have I blogged about teaching, as it is difficult to describe my career. To those that haven't set foot in a classroom in 30-60 years, other than to see their child or grandchild's play (insert other celebration), I promise you this, you have no idea what it is like to be a teacher.

For 180 days, students become my adopted children.
I cry when they are homeless, hungry, verbally abused, neglected, or cast aside as a bother to their parents.
I cry tears of joy when my most struggling student makes gains.
Every Friday we do the 'Friday dance' on the way into class.
We do the 'math' dance(insert other subject) when we figure something challenging out.
My students teach me as much as I teach them.
Teaching makes me a better mom.
Being a mom makes me a better teacher.
My greatest wish is that each child understands that they are all loved and recognized their brilliance.
After agonizing for hours over how to deliver bad news to parents, disbelief sets in if they shrug it off.
A secret desire is possessed to end bottle flipping, forever.
Sometimes nightmares happen about: failing a student, losing a child on a field trip, showing up late, etc.
The best reward in not a (nonexistent) promotion, but the light in the eyes of a struggling child who now gets it.
I am, at times, the one safe person that a child comes to each day for his/her education, guidance, and unconditional love.
Knowing that is heartbreaking.
My actual family gets frustrated by paperwork overtaking the dining room, my out of school work commitments, and my low salary.
Report card preparations is like tax season to an accountant.
If you are lucky enough, your work colleagues become your family away from family because you have been through a lot with them.
I am often right about my hunch about a child's disability, health or mental health ailment, yet I can't speak the words.
Just when I thought I've seen it all, shocked again.
I have an overwhelming amount of patience.
If my friends have children with disabilities, health or mental ailments, or educational struggles, it kills me not to speak up.
If my own child has/had a challenge or disability I trust the teacher to do the right thing by my child.
If said teacher doesn't do right by my child, they will hear from me, respectfully.
I want the parents of my students to know that I am far from perfect, yet, will always give 150%, so, trust me.
Again, if I am suggesting an intervention or strategy, trust it, it may work.
We want parents to take a deep breath and consider that their child is not perfect, we know our own children are not perfect.
It is never appreciated when you 'pop' into class during our teaching time and disrupt the class unless it is a true emergency.
Meetings should have a purpose, be efficient, and help our common goals as educators.
If said meetings are just fluff or mandated, trust that my thought bubble is mulling over a lesson and planning.
State testing has made teachers more accountable for students with disabilities, aside from that, it is a total waste.
I believe it is sinful to put a non-experienced person in charge of our nation's education, if I have to take tests, they should.
The debt assumed to get my Masters may never be paid off.
The union is important because the first thing on the chopping block is always teachers, teacher salaries, or supply money.
Yes, I put a lot of my money into my classroom.
It's like telling doctor's that they have to pay for the blood they are going to give their patient.
Even with all of the challenges, I shall continue to change lives, one little child at a time.
It is too important to stop.
If I am remembered for anything I want it to be for being a caring mom and an effective teacher.
Off to correcting!

Love

Dear cherubs,

I hope that you each experience deep, all consuming love at some point in your life. One of my dreams for you is that you find the love of your life. Someone vibrant, kind, loving, hard working, and bright. Bright enough to know that kindness is the way to treat people. All 3 of you hopefully will know this love and join this person in the 'forever' of marriage.

I have loved your Dad from the minute I saw him. Meeting him when I was 21 years of age, I knew he: had a sense of pure happiness, a daring adventurous side that I did not possess, a positive attitude (that we shared), an understanding that it takes hard work to get what you want, strong family values (which was a must for me in a partner), similar interests, kind eyes, a sense of humor, a big heart, and let's face it- he wooo'd me with his good looks(he was WSC's Mr. May after all).

We 'traditionally' fell in love. We had lots of fun, got married, adopted a dog (our beloved Haley) and started a family. We always laughed because even though we were 'settled down' together, it seems like we never quite settled. We moved 5 times in the first 6 years of our marriage. We lived in a cool, 2 story apartment when we were newlyweds moving into our first home in a short 6 months because, shockingly, the neighbors complained we were too loud :o). We bought our first home, a little cape house in Chelmsford. Hannah was born and brought home to that house. We enjoyed 2 1/2 years there! Next stop, CC, which I swear was divine intervention (Daddy donated a kidney to Grammy). Then a quick succession of moving: moved back 'home' (to the house that was literally a homebuyers disaster), moved 5 minutes away (which we outgrew), and 'settled' about 7 minutes away. Probably the only 2 reasons we didn't move again is that we lack the energy to pack again and love our neighbors. So yay, life was busy, on the go. We are organizational disasters to begin with, never mind all the moving. I swear I still have boxes unpacked from our second move! Despite all of that moving around, new experiences and constant change...we loved each other deeply.

Having said that, it is important to know that marriage is all shiny at first, full of cuteness, kindness, adventure, and romance. The glitter fades and often partners are not just partners in fun, but partners in debt, parenting, struggles, and tiredness. We didn't fight a lot, Dad & I. We were passionate with each other and happy. Happy-for many years. But sometimes, things happen that test you both as partners and as people. For us, we lost Grammy to lung cancer. The grief swallowed Daddy whole. Four years it took to learn how to live in the new normal. It was not the same love, it was changing into a more mature version. It had been rebuilt. It is still fragile but it is WORTH IT. In some ways, I like to think it is stronger because it was fought for, chosen.

The vows you take are important. When they are broken in any way, they can and should be fixed *unless you are in an abusive relationship and then I will help you out*! Here are some scripture words that you can hold onto:

Use them in your ceremony, as a mantra. Whatever works... just believe in them! I can only hope that hubby and I have set a good example for you. Shown you what love should and can be. Here are some tips:

Choose carefully
Love fully
Be kind
Be passionate
REALLY see your partner
Share your thoughts
Build a family *if it's in the cards
Have faith
Love each other unconditionally (even when it is hard)
Love each other's families unconditionally (even when it is hard)
Fix what is broken (literally and figuratively)
Experience new places, things
Don't fight in front of your cherubs (disagree yes, fight no)
Support each other's dreams
Give each other space when needed
Keep your friendships intact
Know your partners' friends
Ask, 'How was your day?', everyday
Kiss each other
Try to stay healthy together
Dance, even when there is no music
Take rides in the car (some of the best conversations happen there)
See the good in each other
Celebrate successes
Grieve deeply when losing, yet grieve carefully
Don't get caught up in what is going wrong
Laugh
Play games (we like cards)
Remember what bugs you about your partner, you probably found endearing earlier
Find your own purpose but share it with your partner, celebrate each other's paths
Give to others
Give your whole heart to each other
Give your whole heart to your family
Enjoy it, the ups and downs (ha)

I love you more than a million chocolate covered mountains. I wish you the same love for your partner and cherubs.

Love,
Mom

Happy New Year 2013!

Words to welcome the New Year:

May you resolve to find the good in all people, the lesson in each mistake, and the joy in each and every day!

New Years Eve 2012

We were blessed to celebrate NYE last night with both old and new friends!

New Years Eve started off with quiet preparations:

Giggling through the dress up parade (some too quick to capture on film):

The "CUP" contest, MC'd by hubby:

New and old friends spending time together:

The countdown:

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1- 2013! New Years hugs from the churubs and good friends and a New Year's smooch from Hubby. A great way to start the New Year :o)

Date Night Redefined

Hubby & I have a hard time escaping on date night. Gee, I don't know why? 3 cherubs, 3 sports schedules, 2 full time jobs, 3 cherubs social lives (which are grander than ours now), the balance of seeing family, friends, etc. Without even trying our definition of date night is evolving, redefining to suit us:

Definition of date night (courtesy of Oxford Dictionaries)
noun, informal
a prearranged occasion on which an established couple, especially one with children, go for a night out together

Date night...redefined (courtesy of MB)
noun
a fortuitous break in our rigorous, family schedule when a busy couple aquires a small span of time to appreciate each other; activities varies

Last night we stole a 20 minute block of time where we enjoyed adult conversation over take-out chinese food, while sipping a cocktail. The cherubs had friends over and were otherwise occupied. It is amazing how a 20 minute conversation can fill you with enough love to fuel you to keep up with the life you keep together. Love you hubby!

Things I learned in 2012...

Life has taught me:

It is the little things that count. For real, not just saying that.
Family means everything.
A true friend loves you even when things aren't honkey dorey.
Sisters are gifts from God.
Everyone handles grief differently.
Time marches on, ready or not.
There is always a reason. Patience is needed. Lots of it.
I am a lot tougher than I thought I was.
Teaching is the most challenging and rewarding career.
Being a mother is more important than ANYTHING else I do. Period.
There are very specific reasons wine was invented.

My cherubs have taught me:

It is the moments that count, big ones and small ones.
Traditions are important. I have stuck to them, even when it isn't easy.
They just want a hug, a conversation, a giggle, your undivided attention.
They are hard-wired to ask for things but in the end...they just need your LOVE.


My hubby has taught me:

Everybody deserves a second chance, no matter how difficult that can be.
Life IS better on the boat.

WANTED

Crane. Must be reliable, punctual, insistent, strong. Job description: able to drag lift cherub 1 out of bed.

Literally, pay back is a *itch. I used to drive my own Dad crazy because I "just.couldn't.get.up". There are some days I just want to scream or leave her in her nice cozy bed. Let her miss school all together. See if that bugged her? Unfortunately, I don't think she would be fazed one bit. Sorry Dad if I put you through this! Sigh.

Our Very Own Amelia Bedelia

Since birth, cherub 3 has been literal. I have written before about times when he followed the letter of ourwords...to the t...making us feel as though we were in an Amelia Bedelia story (water the Xmas tree-splash, feed the fish-throws quarter in). The most recent case:

Hubby & cherub 3 making dinner. Hubby seasons broccoli and wraps in tinfoil.

Hubby: Cherub 3, can you put the broccoli on the grill?

Cherub 3 heads outside, opens tinfoil and painstakingly places each little piece of broccoli on the grill.

Hubby painstakingly removes tiny pieces of burnt broccoli from grill.

Sidebar: Not even thinking about WHY hubby asked my 8 year old to go outside without him and place something on the grill? Really?

The new normal.

It hit me yesterday that even though life is not normal anymore without Patsy, I still need to preserve our memories in the only way that works for me. This blog. So here is some normal. It is the new normal.

Last night cherub 3 & 1 had plans and hubby was working late. I gave cherub 2 the choice of where he & I could share dinner together. The cherubs do not often have their own time with hubby or I so we both treasured last night. Cherub 2 talked for almost an hour straight.

I learned the updated version of:

*the things that made him happy to be going to middle school next year (yikes!)
*the things he was uncertain of
*who was mean during their daily 4th grade recess football games
*who was most "popular"- we talked about being popular and how none of it matters
*he shared with excitement his most recent writing project in school, a brochure on the state of Delaware

He recently won a raffle at cherub 1's school with all merchandise with our town name on everything. He was sooo happy to win something! Cherub 1 was supposed to bring it home yesterday for him. This is his version of the conversation between him & cherub 1.

Cherub 1: Sorry, it was another name they actually picked out. They made a mistake, you didn't really win.

Sidebar: "Mom, I knew she had to be kidding."

Cherub 2: Huh?

Cherub 1: But you can get the mail if you want cuz you got mail instead. I already checked it.

Sidebar: "Mom, I KNEW that she must be playing a joke. I could just FEEL the sarcastic (aka sarcasm) in the air!)"

Cherub 2: Ok. Checks mail. Finds huge bag with raffle winnings.

Cherub 2: I knew it!

Sidebar: "Mom I totally knew she was tricking me!! It didn't work!!

A Promise to Patsy

The past year has been a heartbreaking ride, one that teaches you what is important and what is not. It has taken me a year to be able to type. Even now, I type through tears of frustration and a myriad of feelings.


A year ago, my MIL came home for Florida in time for a fabulous Easter celebration. Soon after, she was plagued with the "flu" and couldn't shake it. She was so sick she missed cherub 3's First Communion which sent alarm bells ringing in my heart. She loved the cherubs more than the shells on Cape Cod's finest beaches and wild horses couldn't keep her away. Something was really wrong. During hubby's 40th bday surprise weekend (with friends) she soldiered on to try to help FIL and SIL babysit the cherubs. Less than a week later found herself in the hospital. Having received a kidney tranplant 9 years prior, hubby and I thought kidney failure? Was it her heart??


Cancer.
Lung.
Stage 4.
Devastation.


Being the ultimate fighter that she was, she tried to fight. God had other plans. She peacefully passed August 1, 2011 surrounded by her family. I have been mad furious at God ever since.


I know I should feel joy that she is with God now. I do not. I feel sad. Mad. Confused. I try to rationalize. She is not sick anymore, she is in heaven. She is an angel that can be with the cherubs in a different way. Even knowing this, I.am.still.mad. I am not sure when I will not be mad. I will keep trying.


We love you and miss you everyday Patsy, Grammy, Mom! xoxo


In Patsy's Memory-We Promise


We promise to keep you with us everywhere
We promise to cook and live with spice
We promise to learn how things work
We promise to dance around the living room
We promise to have pj pool parties
We promise to not overthink things
We promise to question everything
We promise to have an opinion
We promise to love the grand cherubs
We promise to be a good friend
We promise to take care of and love each other
We promise to live each day to the fullest.

BANG BANG BANG

As we speak, hubby is putting up my under-the-counter-tv. To accomplish this task he had to empty two cabinets, including my pan one.

The boys, cherubs 2 & 3 (ages 8 & 7 respectively), are drumming on the pans. They are having the TIME OF THEIR LIFE!

I remember rainy days when they were little, I used to take out the pans and let them have at it! WOW! I.must.have.been.CRAZY! It is really, really, really loud. How can you say no though! They look so cute!

Happy Hearts Day or Not?

Quoting Miranda from one of my fav movies, SATC, "Is it me, or is Valentines Day on steroids this year?" I feel your pain. It seems like for a second grade teacher, hearts day is on steroids!

I strive to be a fun and creative teacher, however, this year I feel like we have missed sooooo much school from snow storms, mixing learning and hearts is more of a challenge! It is funny because the kids can't talk about anything else. You would think the Valentine's Santa was coming! On one spectrum, you have the "well beyond their age kids" who think that "girls should be paired with boys" and vice vs. and those blissfully innocent kids that that don't even understand what that means (thankfully)!

By the end of the day Thursday, I wanted to PUKE hearts. So, when I had to go home and help my OWN 2nd and 3rd grade cherubs fill out and organize their Valentines (skull sport heads with tattoos...so cool), I wanted to run away really fast, leaving a pink dust wake).

Then...something happened.

Cherub 1, now in 5th grade, told cherubs 2 & 3, "Enjoy it this year boys, because when you hit middle school, they don't let you pass out Valentines. It is all over!" She was so sad! She asked me why I thought this happened. It was a slap in the face for me of just how much they LOVE this tradition, both in school and out!

So no matter how much your childs teacher is sleeping, breathing and speaking in hearts, just know that they are ensuring that your child has the opportunity to build memories in the classroom, in the spirit of friendship!

As for me at home, we are continuing our tradition of decorating our windows with hearts, writing our valentines and taking the time to cherish friends and family!

Proper or Adorable?

Every mom wants their child to speak using proper English. However, I know that personally there are some sayings I will miss. Tonight while staring with wonderous eyes out the car window at Christmas lights, cherub 3 exclaimed "that house is the AWESOMEST"!

This seasons fashions...

On Turkey day, mom was telling a story about knitting (at least I think that is how it started). Suddenly, I heard her telling hubby all about "topless mittens". I think BigSis, BabySis, Hubby, BIL & I were going to giggle our way right off our seats. Poor mom just didn't get why we were laughing~even after we tried to explain. She then proceeded to tell him all about the "flap that goes on and off the topless mittens". At this point, we told her she could now rename them "peepshow mittens".

Antique Hubby

Even though in less than 40 days I will be turning 40, it is hubby that is looking a tad antiquish. Last week I was walking by my bedroom window when I stopped dead.in.my.tracks. Outside hubby was bringing WHEELING out the trash to the curb. He was using.a.dolly. I was laughing so hard I could barely make fun of him! Sigh. We are getting old.

job blog stop

Get job. Stop blog. Seriously. I absolutely love my new career and our whole family has transitioned wonderfully. However, the house cleaning blogging has taken a hit. I am going to try REALLY hard to blog. So today...a few snippets. Sadly, I am truly in second grade! When I typed the post title, job blog stop, all I could think of is 'those are all 1 syllable words'. I need to get a grip (also a 1 syllable word).

Some things I know...

1) Cherub 1 is slowly entering the i.hate.my.mother tweenhood stage.
2) Cherub 3 IS taller than cherub 2 but is still the baby.
3) Cherub 2 has a softspot for his baby brother.

More Than They Bargained For...

As a new teacher, the first month of school is like a treadmill that you just.can't.get.off. Seriously. Honestly though, the most nerve wracking thing for me wasn't the first day, the first time my principal observed me, or the first mix-up on the job, etc.

Three words for ya: parent-curriculum-night.

It is the night all you parents come and fall asleep with your eyes open, check out the new teacher, ahem, spend an hour with me to learn all about the wonderful things I will teach your child this year. So basically, I have to be prepared to babble talk for forty five minutes straight!

That night, I arrived back at school 45 minutes ahead of schedule. I read over my material one last time, double checked my handouts, and shared some info with other teachers. With about 20 minutes before you were gonna size me up and down and ask me difficult questions I probably couldn't answer because I am new scheduled to arrive, I popped into the ladies room to change into my neatly pressed jackie o type dress and cute little sweater.

Dress off hanger.
Dress over head.
Zip and Clip
Shriek

The hook was broken off my dress so I couldn't get the dress zipped! It is in these times that someone's true personality shines. I blinked back tears, swallowed the swear on the tip of my tongue , threw the sweater over my bulging out side (zipper was on the side under my arm) and skuttled to my teacher friends room. I entered her room, red-faced and sweating, closed the door and told her that she was being initiated, like it or not, to be just like a roommate to me. That's right. She got to zip me (which entailed seeing half my naked self). I couldn't decide if I wanted to faint or cry from the embarressment. Zip. No darn clip. We decided that it was best to keep my

left
arm
down.

Ummm ok. I am Irish. I literally talk with my hands. For the remainder of the night I prayed that my dress would not pop open. I am sure that meeting the new teacher who was popping out of her dress was not what the parents had bargained for.

Next year, skirt and blouse.

10/10/10

September 10, 2010.
Abbreviated 10/10/10.
See you in 1000 years!
Seriously. Everyone should be playing the lottery with 10's!