What has changed?

It's only been 100 years since the last post. I know... you have been holding your breath. LOL! So, there is a pandemic. Were you aware? You'd think we would be immune to trauma since we survived Trump during his four years of "Presidency", but here you have it. We are all still experiencing a different trauma. That's right. In my little own family we have (knocked on wood) skirted the Corona virus SO FAR, however, we have: brought our study abroad child home early, assured our last year's HS senior that it OK that he missed all senior events (including graduation), and somehow got our current senior motivated enought to survive school online enough to get into college. As for teaching, well it is just hard to describe. Kids in person while online at the same time. That is a WHOLE other post. My brain is fried and so is my ability to cope normally. Having said that, I love my family, love my friends, and will stop at nothing to help my students. So, what has changed? Sanity.

Never before have I blogged about teaching, as it is difficult to describe my career. To those that haven't set foot in a classroom in 30-60 years, other than to see their child or grandchild's play (insert other celebration), I promise you this, you have no idea what it is like to be a teacher.

For 180 days, students become my adopted children.
I cry when they are homeless, hungry, verbally abused, neglected, or cast aside as a bother to their parents.
I cry tears of joy when my most struggling student makes gains.
Every Friday we do the 'Friday dance' on the way into class.
We do the 'math' dance(insert other subject) when we figure something challenging out.
My students teach me as much as I teach them.
Teaching makes me a better mom.
Being a mom makes me a better teacher.
My greatest wish is that each child understands that they are all loved and recognized their brilliance.
After agonizing for hours over how to deliver bad news to parents, disbelief sets in if they shrug it off.
A secret desire is possessed to end bottle flipping, forever.
Sometimes nightmares happen about: failing a student, losing a child on a field trip, showing up late, etc.
The best reward in not a (nonexistent) promotion, but the light in the eyes of a struggling child who now gets it.
I am, at times, the one safe person that a child comes to each day for his/her education, guidance, and unconditional love.
Knowing that is heartbreaking.
My actual family gets frustrated by paperwork overtaking the dining room, my out of school work commitments, and my low salary.
Report card preparations is like tax season to an accountant.
If you are lucky enough, your work colleagues become your family away from family because you have been through a lot with them.
I am often right about my hunch about a child's disability, health or mental health ailment, yet I can't speak the words.
Just when I thought I've seen it all, shocked again.
I have an overwhelming amount of patience.
If my friends have children with disabilities, health or mental ailments, or educational struggles, it kills me not to speak up.
If my own child has/had a challenge or disability I trust the teacher to do the right thing by my child.
If said teacher doesn't do right by my child, they will hear from me, respectfully.
I want the parents of my students to know that I am far from perfect, yet, will always give 150%, so, trust me.
Again, if I am suggesting an intervention or strategy, trust it, it may work.
We want parents to take a deep breath and consider that their child is not perfect, we know our own children are not perfect.
It is never appreciated when you 'pop' into class during our teaching time and disrupt the class unless it is a true emergency.
Meetings should have a purpose, be efficient, and help our common goals as educators.
If said meetings are just fluff or mandated, trust that my thought bubble is mulling over a lesson and planning.
State testing has made teachers more accountable for students with disabilities, aside from that, it is a total waste.
I believe it is sinful to put a non-experienced person in charge of our nation's education, if I have to take tests, they should.
The debt assumed to get my Masters may never be paid off.
The union is important because the first thing on the chopping block is always teachers, teacher salaries, or supply money.
Yes, I put a lot of my money into my classroom.
It's like telling doctor's that they have to pay for the blood they are going to give their patient.
Even with all of the challenges, I shall continue to change lives, one little child at a time.
It is too important to stop.
If I am remembered for anything I want it to be for being a caring mom and an effective teacher.
Off to correcting!

Love

Dear cherubs,

I hope that you each experience deep, all consuming love at some point in your life. One of my dreams for you is that you find the love of your life. Someone vibrant, kind, loving, hard working, and bright. Bright enough to know that kindness is the way to treat people. All 3 of you hopefully will know this love and join this person in the 'forever' of marriage.

I have loved your Dad from the minute I saw him. Meeting him when I was 21 years of age, I knew he: had a sense of pure happiness, a daring adventurous side that I did not possess, a positive attitude (that we shared), an understanding that it takes hard work to get what you want, strong family values (which was a must for me in a partner), similar interests, kind eyes, a sense of humor, a big heart, and let's face it- he wooo'd me with his good looks(he was WSC's Mr. May after all).

We 'traditionally' fell in love. We had lots of fun, got married, adopted a dog (our beloved Haley) and started a family. We always laughed because even though we were 'settled down' together, it seems like we never quite settled. We moved 5 times in the first 6 years of our marriage. We lived in a cool, 2 story apartment when we were newlyweds moving into our first home in a short 6 months because, shockingly, the neighbors complained we were too loud :o). We bought our first home, a little cape house in Chelmsford. Hannah was born and brought home to that house. We enjoyed 2 1/2 years there! Next stop, CC, which I swear was divine intervention (Daddy donated a kidney to Grammy). Then a quick succession of moving: moved back 'home' (to the house that was literally a homebuyers disaster), moved 5 minutes away (which we outgrew), and 'settled' about 7 minutes away. Probably the only 2 reasons we didn't move again is that we lack the energy to pack again and love our neighbors. So yay, life was busy, on the go. We are organizational disasters to begin with, never mind all the moving. I swear I still have boxes unpacked from our second move! Despite all of that moving around, new experiences and constant change...we loved each other deeply.

Having said that, it is important to know that marriage is all shiny at first, full of cuteness, kindness, adventure, and romance. The glitter fades and often partners are not just partners in fun, but partners in debt, parenting, struggles, and tiredness. We didn't fight a lot, Dad & I. We were passionate with each other and happy. Happy-for many years. But sometimes, things happen that test you both as partners and as people. For us, we lost Grammy to lung cancer. The grief swallowed Daddy whole. Four years it took to learn how to live in the new normal. It was not the same love, it was changing into a more mature version. It had been rebuilt. It is still fragile but it is WORTH IT. In some ways, I like to think it is stronger because it was fought for, chosen.

The vows you take are important. When they are broken in any way, they can and should be fixed *unless you are in an abusive relationship and then I will help you out*! Here are some scripture words that you can hold onto:

Use them in your ceremony, as a mantra. Whatever works... just believe in them! I can only hope that hubby and I have set a good example for you. Shown you what love should and can be. Here are some tips:

Choose carefully
Love fully
Be kind
Be passionate
REALLY see your partner
Share your thoughts
Build a family *if it's in the cards
Have faith
Love each other unconditionally (even when it is hard)
Love each other's families unconditionally (even when it is hard)
Fix what is broken (literally and figuratively)
Experience new places, things
Don't fight in front of your cherubs (disagree yes, fight no)
Support each other's dreams
Give each other space when needed
Keep your friendships intact
Know your partners' friends
Ask, 'How was your day?', everyday
Kiss each other
Try to stay healthy together
Dance, even when there is no music
Take rides in the car (some of the best conversations happen there)
See the good in each other
Celebrate successes
Grieve deeply when losing, yet grieve carefully
Don't get caught up in what is going wrong
Laugh
Play games (we like cards)
Remember what bugs you about your partner, you probably found endearing earlier
Find your own purpose but share it with your partner, celebrate each other's paths
Give to others
Give your whole heart to each other
Give your whole heart to your family
Enjoy it, the ups and downs (ha)

I love you more than a million chocolate covered mountains. I wish you the same love for your partner and cherubs.

Love,
Mom

Happy New Year 2013!

Words to welcome the New Year:

May you resolve to find the good in all people, the lesson in each mistake, and the joy in each and every day!

New Years Eve 2012

We were blessed to celebrate NYE last night with both old and new friends!

New Years Eve started off with quiet preparations:

Giggling through the dress up parade (some too quick to capture on film):

The "CUP" contest, MC'd by hubby:

New and old friends spending time together:

The countdown:

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1- 2013! New Years hugs from the churubs and good friends and a New Year's smooch from Hubby. A great way to start the New Year :o)

Date Night Redefined

Hubby & I have a hard time escaping on date night. Gee, I don't know why? 3 cherubs, 3 sports schedules, 2 full time jobs, 3 cherubs social lives (which are grander than ours now), the balance of seeing family, friends, etc. Without even trying our definition of date night is evolving, redefining to suit us:

Definition of date night (courtesy of Oxford Dictionaries)
noun, informal
a prearranged occasion on which an established couple, especially one with children, go for a night out together

Date night...redefined (courtesy of MB)
noun
a fortuitous break in our rigorous, family schedule when a busy couple aquires a small span of time to appreciate each other; activities varies

Last night we stole a 20 minute block of time where we enjoyed adult conversation over take-out chinese food, while sipping a cocktail. The cherubs had friends over and were otherwise occupied. It is amazing how a 20 minute conversation can fill you with enough love to fuel you to keep up with the life you keep together. Love you hubby!

Things I learned in 2012...

Life has taught me:

It is the little things that count. For real, not just saying that.
Family means everything.
A true friend loves you even when things aren't honkey dorey.
Sisters are gifts from God.
Everyone handles grief differently.
Time marches on, ready or not.
There is always a reason. Patience is needed. Lots of it.
I am a lot tougher than I thought I was.
Teaching is the most challenging and rewarding career.
Being a mother is more important than ANYTHING else I do. Period.
There are very specific reasons wine was invented.

My cherubs have taught me:

It is the moments that count, big ones and small ones.
Traditions are important. I have stuck to them, even when it isn't easy.
They just want a hug, a conversation, a giggle, your undivided attention.
They are hard-wired to ask for things but in the end...they just need your LOVE.


My hubby has taught me:

Everybody deserves a second chance, no matter how difficult that can be.
Life IS better on the boat.